Hat Backwards Guy, or HBG for short, is a guy that lives upstairs from Ricky.
He revels in causing Ricky more discomfort in his life than Ricky already has (yes, I know, hard to believe any more discomfort could find its way into Ricky’s life).
We think he is unemployed, that he is still going through puberty (as he cannot seem to flip his hat forward any time soon), and prefers to greet any poor soul unlucky enough to find themselves at his door, in his underwear and backwards hat.
We believe this to be his son. Note the emblazened skull with backwards hat logo on his coverhalls, possibly symbolizing some cult like club of sorts.
Further searching revealed this old army photo of Hat Backward Guy’s Father, who is rumored to have pioneered this whole backward style of living…
According to a post made on this page, and I quote:
———————————————————————————
“people who wear backwards hats are to be feared. They are rebellious and somewhat mysterious. They are to be dealt with very carefully because you never can tell what’s under the hood of a backwards-hat wearing soul. They do things differently, they do things that are possibly harmful to their bodies, and they definitely, totally — are kick ass mofos”
———————————————————————————
Ricky…
Be afraid, be very afraid.
Categorized in Uncategorized
Last I heard Ricky was on his way to the hospital to seek treatment for his infect limb.
(*artists rendition of ricky’s arm above)
As amputation draws near Ricky, lest we forget that you may have one the battle in breaking the window, but the window apparently has won the war.
Categorized in Uncategorized
What will happen today in the life of Ricky?………………
We have laid witness to his loss of hot water because he has not paid rent; resulting in Ricky having to boil water on the stove (this was before he had his electricity taken away), in an effort to wash himself, then dry off with a tattered towel he found in one of the far corners of his luxurious penthouse. While this level of hygiene may seem extreme, it should instead be looked upon as a positive thing, for before this knowledge became available, it was widely thought that Ricky did not bathe. I trust that the above fact puts this legend to rest…
We have seen Ricky’s lights get shut off because Ricky no longer belongs in Nova Scotia Power’s vocabulary. No ‘most valuable customer’ award this year Ricky…
It would bare logic, that all that remains, is Ricky’s heat. Think again. If he still has heat, this is only because his landlord has not figured out how to shut it down without affecting the upstairs tenant.
Who lives upstairs from Ricky you may be asking yourself?
Personally I think its this delectable piece of eye candy…
Amparo Altagracia Montas Hernandez (Wanted by the FBI for harboring illegal aliens)
Amparo would be the sort of “Go To” person that Ricky would be looking for in assisting him with honing his law avoidance techniques.
Categorized in Uncategorized
What do you get when you cross tartar sauce and toilets?
You get the setting for Ricky’s next Convergy’s snack.
Just when you think that you can’t sink lower than eating in the washroom, Ricky ups the antie. Not only did he eat in the Convergy’s washroom, but the dish consumed was a portion of tartar sauce that he swiped off the windowsill of the break room.
And it matters not, why the sauce was abandoned by the original owner. No, not to Ricky. Ricky’s only thought was that of ‘opportunity‘—and pounce on it he did.
While in the washroom it is not known whether he opted to sit on the standard seat, or opted for one of the Big John editions that Convergy’s had installed—due to their ever growing army of fat asses.
Ricky arrived at the conclusion that eating this zesty treat in the washroom would be less embarrassing than consuming it where he unearthed it…
It’s at this juncture that I’d like to say; it’s becoming increasingly obvious that Ricky’s logic must be piped directly into his brain via the ‘trailer park boys’ staff writers, or some foreign redneck alien race. Alternatively, it is entirely posible that Ricky takes lend of his intelligence from the individual below…
Categorized in Uncategorized
It appears as though lady luck was shining brightly for Ricky today. For whilst rooting through someone else’s cupboards (as he can so often be found), our down and out friend found the prize of all prizes in the Convergy’s kitchen.
As if being greeted by a sugary light at the end of a tunnel, the opening of the cupboard doors gave view to 3 Hop ‘N Go bars and what Ricky would describe as being a delectable rice krispie square…
He came across this refined sugar gold mine while scavenging for miscellaneous food articles and sugar packets. Sugar packets he was to utilize with his instant coffee, a coffee he most likely stole as well.
—editors note: It’s lucky that he came across this ’second chance’ feast as it were. A quote later heard by Ricky echoed the following words:
“I ALMOST ate a half sub that was in the fridge for two days, but it expired a week ago on the 5th”.
Categorized in Uncategorized
